I spent the next couple of years wandering through life trying to figure out why I felt so empty and without purpose, it was a nightmarish time in my life. Life at this point had become miserably routinized and mundane; I did not even want to get dressed and comb my hair in the mornings, I’m sure many of you reading this can relate. My social life essentially had become non-existent at this point. Preferring the solitude of self-imposed isolation (also not recommended); I did not realize at that point in my life that what I most needed was a complete life overhaul from the inside out! One that reflected my core personal values and a life that was not scripted by society, generational family expectations, and most certainly not based upon the lingering, toxic chatter of my ex-boyfriend, the narcissist. I was committed to building a new life based upon my terms and my terms only; however, the awakening journey I was experiencing wasn’t comleted as yet, but as I became more intentional and determined to love ahead despite all the hurt, shame and regret I felt, little by little I began to feel empowered and motivatedto keep moving forward.

​

The defining moment for me happened when my spiritual godmother passed away suddenly from Diabetes and then shortly after her passing, my great aunt was diagnosed with aggressive stage 4 lung cancer. Having watched her battle cancer with such tenacity, courage and integrity reminded me at that moment that our time here on earth is short and our life’s purpose should not be wasted in mediocrity or chasing after fancy titles that are not serving our highest purpose as divine feminines. I made a very conscious decision that I would no longer accept or allow society and other people’s scripts of how my life ought to be lived to be controlled or dictated to me. I leaped and actively chose to redesign my life one step at a time; a life that now authentically aligns with my passion and purpose in life. It was during this transition in my life when I began to ask the questions I was too afraid and spiritually closed off to receiving the answers to; you know, the questions that most people would classify as being too woo-woo and out there!

​

But here’s the kicker. I do not believe anything in life just happens by coincidence, even experiencing being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. Sometimes that sparkling, symbolic trophy (however, you choose to give meaning to that trophy) we are working ourselves to death to hold on to, accomplish or “magically” manifest into our life is the very same tool the universe will turn around on us and use to teach us an important life lesson that ultimately propels us into another direction in life; whether we are prepared to do so, or not. My lived experiences during this exceedingly difficult and dark time in my life motivated me to take ALL my regrets, hurt, anger, and toxic experiences with the narcissist and transform them into a spiritually awakened, empowered, and thriving life that honors the divine feminine that resides within me, and also resides within you too! Do I mess up from time to time? Of course, I do. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. But, the difference this time around is that I am not easily shaken anymore, offended, or brought to my knees whenever I feel as though life isn’t treating me well. My healing and awakening challenged me to look at how I was showing up in my life both personally and professionally. Was I choosing to stay stuck in the past or love ahead and heal my life!