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  • Writer's pictureTonya

10 Healing Lessons I Learned Post-Breakup After Dating a Covert Narcissist

Updated: Aug 1, 2022


10 lessons learned after a breakup

Hey Gorgeous!

I can't believe 2021 is just around the corner.

At the time of writing this blog post, there are exactly 15 days until we transition into the new year of 2022.

Let that soak in for a minute... 15-days.

The past 2-years have definitely been challenging, scary and anxiety-inducing. Between Covid, the economy's volatile instability, deciding whether I should take the vaccine or not; worrying about my mother and daughter; as well as my own wellbeing. Needless to say, it's been one hell of a ride.

I have been doing a lot of self-reflection in this final month of 2021. The good, the bad, the highs and lows both personally and professionally pre-covid and post-covid. I have accomplished quite a bit, especially in my personal development; as well as on my recovery and healing journey post-breakup from a toxic relationship.


Although it wasn't an easy journey back to reclaiming my power as a Divine Feminine, I am however grateful for the many life lessons I learned on my journey of rediscovery the true essence of who I am post-breakup after dating Covert Narcissist.


So, I've decided to dedicate this final post of 2021 to highlighting the top 10 lessons I learned post-breakup after dating a Covert Narcissist. However, as I always state your healing journey will not be a linear one and it also will not progress or evolve in the exact same way as mine has.


But, one thing I know for sure at some point you may come against a couple of the hurdles, setbacks, mistakes and doubts I too encountered; and it's my hope that these 10-post-breakup healing tips and life lessons will help you to stay motivated, focused and empowered to keep moving forward on your healing journey.


Tonya's Top 10 Healing Tips + Life Lessons Post-Breakup From a Toxic Relationship:



10 healing life lessons I learned post breakup

(1.) You're going to make mistakes. Some will be cringe-worthy and other mistakes you will look back at and laugh. It's all part of your healing journey. Don't be too hard yourself. Find the strength to keep moving forward and whatever you do, don't give up. You've come too far.

(2.) You will relapse at some point on your healing journey and break your no-contact rule. Don't beat yourself up. You're in the process of detoxing and that takes time, discipline and patience. Rome wasn't built in a day, neither will your healing journey and toxic habits miraculously heal overnight.

(3.) You may lose friends in the process of healing after a breakup from a toxic relationship; especially if your ex was a suspected Covert Narcissist. They probably weren't your true friends to begin with, and this breakup just confirmed what you probably knew all along. Set your boundaries moving forward. What are your expectations for future friendships?

(4.) Give NO energy to the smear campaign of your toxic ex. It's a distraction used to stop you from speaking up about what really happened between the two of you. It's a last ditch effort to protect their reputation and image; while tarnishing yours in the process. Again, don't give-up and keep moving forward.

(5.) This breakup is an opportunity to level up in your life. Why waste it being stuck in the past, wondering if your ex misses you, as much as you miss him - it's a complete waste of time. Trust me, there is a bigger purpose behind this heartache. You just have to be willing to discover it.

(6.) Your ability to bounce back from this toxic relationship will solely depend on your willingness to completely sever ties and let go of the past, while having total trust that the Universe will guide you every step of the way on your healing journey.

(7.) Don't ever allow anyone to tell you who they think you are or dictate to you who you ought to be post-breakup. The only thing that matters is your TRUTH and lived experience; and as long as you are in good standing with your inner Divine Feminine, Source, God, Goddess who ever you acknowledge as being your Creator that's all that matters.

(8.) Flying monkeys thrive off of your pain, shame and guilt. Don't feed them that energy. Keep your head up, one day, you'll look back and realize that the woman you were then, is a completely different woman today, who is proudly reflecting back at you. Keep your head up!

(9.) Post-breakup, use your time wisely. Educate yourself, invest in your personal development and create a strategic plan to bounce back in your life. My Breakup to Level-Up 1:1 Private Coaching Program is a great starting point.

(10.) Despite the challenges and setbacks you will encounter post-breakup. Don't ever give up on your journey of healing after experiencing a toxic relationship. The rewards come after doing the inner work. Your break-through is in the mess and learning how to strategically navigate that mess with a recovery and healing plan that is in alignment with your inner Divine Feminine.


The past few years have, indeed, been a wild, challenging journey, but it's been worth it every step of the way.


My wish for you in 2022 is that you will find the inner strength to keep moving forward on your recovery and healing journey with clarity and focus. Happy holidays to you and your and family!


P.S. Don't forget that my Breakup to Level-Up 1:1 Private Coaching Program starts on January 26th, 2022 and enrolment is currently open.


Happy New Year!


See you in 2022






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