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  • Writer's pictureTonya

7 Ways a Holistic Breakup Coach Can Help You Heal After a Toxic Relationship

Updated: Jan 3

breakup coaching

I am often asked, what the heck is holistic breakup coaching and how can a holistic breakup coach help individuals to recover, heal and move on with their life after experiencing a toxic relationship that ended in a devastating breakup? Years ago, after experiencing my own devastating breakup after dating a covert narcissist, if someone had suggested to me that I should consider working privately with a holistic breakup coach, I would have probably been clueless as to how a holistic breakup coach can help me stop obsessively thinking about my toxic ex and finally heal and move forward with my life; heartache free.

Holistic Breakup coaching is a specialized niche of life coaching that focuses on supporting, coaching, motivating, and empowering clients to view their breakup as an opportunity to level up in their life; ultimately, experiencing a breakthrough in the way you, the client, choose to approach future relationships from a completely new and empowered perspective. The way I approach coaching my clients through a difficult breakup, whether they are experiencing a divorce or are simply having a tough time getting over the demise of their relationship, is not to focus solely on why the breakup happened; but what are the deeper issues beneath the surface that contributed to the breakdown of the relationship to begin with.

Ultimately, a holistic breakup coach is a professional who uses a holistic approach to help their clients to navigate the challenges of a breakup and find healing and growth. A holistic approach considers the whole person, including their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.

As a multi-certified transformation and spiritual life coach, I strategically guide my clients to become aware of unhealthy dating patterns that are blocking them from making healthier, empowered decisions for themselves. Such dating patterns are usually formed through previous relational trauma that likely occurred early in life and was never adequately acknowledged, nor healed; which contributes to a clients attachment style in their adult life; ultimately impacting how that client navigates future relationships. There is no one-size fits all solution when supporting clients on their recovery and healing journey post-breakup because each client has a set of unique life experiences that inform the way they subconsciously navigate their romantic relationships.

Holistic breakup coaching is not about stroking the ego of a client into believing that everything that went wrong with this relationship is to be blamed on their ex, while escaping any accountability on the client's part. Accountability is not about blaming or shaming a client for the demise of the relationship; but rather it's about empowering the client to become aware of when their inner programing are choosing toxic partners and situations, rather than trusting their intuition and allowing their inner wisdom to be their guiding compass to make healthier, more empowered choices for themselves. But, the question remains how can a holistic breakup coach get their clients to that place of being able to make wiser decisions and choose healthier dating situations? There are 7-pillars of recovery and healing I personally like to work through with my private clients and I have listed them below.

7 Ways a Holistic Breakup Coach Can Help You Heal After a Toxic Relationship:

(1.) Navigating the early phases of a breakup can be emotionally draining.

Emotional Support: Holistic breakup coaching can support and guide you through the various erratic emotions you will likely encounter during the early days of your breakup. It's important to have someone in your corner who can objectively help you make sense of why you are feeling, the way you feel and how to best navigate those uncomfortable feelings from an empowered perspective that motivates you to move forward, rather than staying stuck, pining over your ex-partner.

(2.) Journeying through the 6-stages of grief post-breakup.

How to practice mindfulness: Some say there are 5, others 8, but from my personal experience and having researched and worked with other women experiencing breakups, there are 6 common stages of grief that many women and men encounter, especially if the relationship was toxic in nature, and they include:

  1. Shock and embarrassment

  2. Denial and resistance

  3. Bargaining and compromising values

  4. Loneliness and isolation

  5. Eventual acceptance

  6. The road to recovery and healing

The 6-stages of grief can be extremely difficult to navigate alone without proper support. Working privately with a holistic breakup coach who is experienced, educated and skilled in supporting clients through the above stages will greatly accelerate your recovery and healing journey. One of the main coping tools you will learn as journey through the greiving stage of your healing and recovery journey after a breakup is the practice of mindfulness; how to utilize mindfulness to help you move from one grieving stage to the next without feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

Click here: You can read a previous article I wrote on the 6-Grieving Stages.

(3.) How do you begin your recovery and healing journey?

Spiritual Wellness: You might be feeling confused and anxious about the future and moving forward solo without your ex-partner, with whom you believed that you would be spending the rest of your life with. Picking up the fragmented pieces of your life and broken heart will take determination, courage, focus and clarity. A holistic breakup coach can strategically guide you on how to move forward and what should be the next step on your healing journey post-breakup. A huge problem I have observed and have also experienced on my healing journey was the issue of being stuck at a particular stage of the grieving process and not knowing what my next step ought to be; a holistic breakup coach can help you put things into perspective from both a spiritual and practical perspective, while also supporting you in taking the next step forward.

(4.) Objective, neutral feedback on what's working for you and what's not.

Life Coaching: Having a strong support system to confide in while in recovery after experiencing a devastating breakup is important; but being able to have someone outside your support bubble who can call you out on your self-pity and destructive behavior will be a great ally, additional support and source of structure on your healing journey post-breakup. A holistic breakup coach can be the voice of reason, logic and clarity when your support bubble is over-protecting you because they are too afraid to tell you the truth. A holistic breakup coach can help you keep things in perspective while you are working towards your goals. Life coaching takes on a new meaning when working a holistic breakup coach because you are working towards total transformation of you were when in that toxic relationship, to becoming a your highest and best self post breakup.

(5.) Detox and unclutter your life.

Alternative therapies: Holistic breakup coaching also utilizes other holistic therapies and tools to help you heal and recover after experiencing a toxic relationship that ended in a devastating breakup. Such healing therapies include energy healing, tarot therapy and possible crystal remedies. However, such therapies should only be experienced with a trained and certified practitioner.

No contact is not a joke. It is, however, about giving you the opportunity to detox from the energy of the relationship and your toxic ex; more specifically the life you shared. A holistic breakup coach can help you energetically and physically distance yourself from your toxic ex and the trauma bonding you've experienced within that relationship. It's important to ensure that the energy you are putting into your recovery and healing journey isn't tainted or blocked, by other people AKA the flying monkeys that do not want to see you succeed, especially in the online world of social media. Social media is a playground for bullies, haters, and anybody else to tear you down on your healing journey post-breakup. A holistic breakup coach can help you navigate removing or distancing yourself from toxic individuals who do not want the best for you moving forward, especially your ex-partner.

(6.) They will hold you accountable.

A skilled, experienced and knowledgeable holistic breakup coach will hold you accountable when necessary to help you grow as an individual. As I stated before, accountability is not about shifting blame or shaming you about the breakup; but a breakup coach will challenge you to change destructive behaviors, and thought patterns that are not in alignment with your recovery and healing goals. Also, a holistic breakup coach is not a yes person; they are however, someone you can trust to help guide and support you to the best solutions; while motivating and empowering you to stay focused, disciplined and consistent as you embark on your healing and recovery journey post-breakup.


Experience freedom from the heartache, anxiety and confusion about what your life will look like after a devastating breakup from a toxic intimate partner. A holistic breakup coach can guide you through the dark, spotty moments of your healing and recovery journey after experiencing a devastating breakup. A holistic breakup coach can give you practical and spiritual tools to help you feel empowered and confident in the choices you are making for your life moving forward. Holistic breakup coaching is much more than just learning about your dating patterns, a qualified breakup coach will give you the clarity and strategy to heal and recreate your life from the ashes of your previous failed relationship.

Article Recap:

(1.) Emotional support: A holistic breakup coach can provide a safe and supportive space for clients to express their feelings and work through their emotions.

(2.) Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help clients find inner peace and clarity, and can be a useful tool for coping with the emotional challenges of a breakup.

(3.) Spiritual guidance: A holistic breakup coach may help clients explore their spiritual values and beliefs as a means of finding meaning and purpose after a breakup.

(4.) Life coaching: A holistic breakup coach may help clients set goals and develop strategies for personal growth and development in the wake of a breakup.

(5.) Alternative therapies: Holistic coaches may use alternative therapies, such as energy healing or herbal remedies, as a way to support their clients' physical and emotional well-being.

(6.) Accountability partner: Holistic breakup coaches will keep you on track when working towards your healing and recovery goals post breakup.

(7.) FREEDOM! A holistic breakup coach will support you in the process of freeing yourself from the toxic bonds and torment of wanting to get your ex back after experiencing a devastating breakup.


I hope you enjoyed this week's article and have gained some valuable information to help you move forward with confidence! As a Breakup and Wellness Coach, my work in this world is dedicated to supporting and helping women such as yourself to HEAL, RECLAIM and TRANSFORM your life after leaving a toxic relationship. Do reach out if you would like to discuss how I can support you on your journey of recovery, healing, and transformation.


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