Check out the full episode below: Previously recorded as Light Your Divine Path
As we mark our calendars in anticipation of the upcoming, festive holiday season one such unofficial season, which is commonly overlooked or not even acknowledged until it happens to us, is that of the dreaded breakup season.
Breakup season... What exactly is that?
According to Data Journalist - Devin Candless, who has researched more than 10,000 Facebook profiles, found that the unofficial breakup season between romantic partners usually happens on or just before:
Thanksgiving
Close to Christmas holidays
Just before Valentine's Day
Breakup season is an actual occurrence that usually kicks off between the months of November and December in the United States, and early October in Canada (if you're observing the Canadian Thanksgiving date).
(Below is an infographic of when couples experience breakups)
Courtesy of FastCompany
When Does Breakup Season Officially Begin?
Breakup season happens when one romantic partner, or even both decides that they no longer want to date or be in a committed long-term relationship anymore with their significant other.
Other, notable, researchers, such as the folks over at Science Alerts have also confirmed that the Christmas holiday season is unfortunately a peak time for breakups to occur between couples. They have found that individuals start to have doubts about their relationship as the holiday season starts approaching and that "even in the case of marriages, with formal divorce applications tending to peak in January."
The onset of breakup season is usually triggered by four factors:
Your partner isn't confident that you are the right fit for his family.
Your partner hasn't told his family about you as yet, which is suspect and a major red flag.
Your partner has realized that bringing you home to meet the family makes things official.
Your partner is preparing for the new year, which brings with it an opportunity to start over again single or with someone else.
Let's dissect the above contributing factors and what you can do to safeguard your heart and pre-prepare for the worst.
(Breakup Season Fact #1) Your partner isn't confident that you are the right fit for his family.
More than likely the warning signs were probably already there, but in a subtle, not a big-deal type of way.
What do I mean by that?
Maybe, you've had a conversation or shared opinions about politics, religion, family and future kids with one another, but every time this happened your partner would question your logic or validity about your opinion and would attempt to forcefully persuade you into accepting their beliefs or opinions on a particular subject matter. Only to find out that these beliefs, values and opinions are also strongly felt and held to be the gold standard by your partner family too.
(Breakup Season Fact #2) Your partner hasn't told his family about you as yet, which is suspect and a major red flag.
So, you've been unofficially dating each other for about 6-months. The chemistry seems to be great between the two of you. Your conversations are thought-provoking and you have met some of his friends; however, a question you might ask yourself is why haven't you met his family or at least spoken with his parents or siblings since dating one another? The harsh answer to that question is because your partner probably has doubts about you and the relationship, or to put it another way, they are just not that into you.
(Breakup Season Fact #3) Your partner has realized that bringing you home to meet the family makes things official.
Which is why he probably hasn't personally invited you to meet his family. Taking you home to meet his parents, siblings, and childhood friends is a major step towards commitment and if he is already having doubts about you or the relationship, guess what? There is no way on earth your partner is going to take that chance, from his perspective, of embarrassing himself or having to deal with the burden of pretending to want to be in a committed relationship with you. Furthermore, it could also be that your partner is afraid of the rejection they may experience about your relationship that might not be in alignment with the traditions of your partners family.
(Breakup Season Fact #4) Your partner is re-evaluating his life and preparing for the new year ahead of him.
Your partner might be re-evaluating his life, goals and desires ahead of the upcoming new year; which influences many individuals to start wiping the slate clean before the new year arrives. When we think about the new year, we are often thinking about starting over, turning the page and moving forward, and sometimes that also means realizing that some people in your life shouldn't move forward with you, as harsh as that may sound.
How to Safeguard Your Heart and Prepare for a Possible Holiday Breakup
With Thanksgiving coming up here in Canada on October 11th and in the United States on November 25th, here are 4-breakup safeguard tips and advice you can implement or consider if you feel that your partner, or even yourself for that matter, has been experiencing the breakup seasonal bug.
Be direct, open, and honest in your communication with one another. If the two of you have lately been having arguments and disagreements with one another, nip it in the bud and get to the core of the issue.
Have you outgrown one another, due to not being compatible anymore?
Have either one of you started to entertain the idea of dating someone else?
Are your beliefs, values, and opinions triggering one another?
If you suspect that your partner is about to drop the turkey on you (breakup with you) have a back-up plan in place. You may receive the news via text, email or voicemail, so being, prepared for what your partner has to say to you is important.
If you are not ready to share with friends and family what you suspect is about to happen or has just happened, treat yourself to your own Thanksgiving dinner. Benefits are you don't have to worry about impressing family and friends; you can binge-watch your favorite movies undisturbed. However, stay away from breakup movies; I will address why in another article.
If staying inside treating yourself to comfort food isn't appealing to you, why not get out and get active? Have there been friendships that you've neglected while attempting to make this relationship work? Is there a single friend of yours that can use your company? The two of you can start a new tradition and cook Thanksgiving together and celebrate one another rather than wallow in self-pity isolated.
How to Be Proactive If You are Experiencing a Breakup During the Holidays
Lastly, utilize this time to begin your recovery and healing journey. What changes or improvements do you need to start making within yourself, so that you can avoid this happening to you again in the future?
What are the lessons that you've learned about your relationship and how can you use those lessons to empower your healing journey post-breakup?
Hopefully this article has helped you to understand what breakup season is about and how to best avoid, safeguard your heart, and prepare for such a situation. In part two of this article I'll discuss how to prepare for the festive, Christmas holiday season.
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I hope you enjoyed this week's article and have gained some valuable information to help you move forward with confidence! As a Breakup and Wellness Coach, my work in this world is dedicated to supporting and helping women such as yourself to HEAL, RECLAIM and TRANSFORM your life after leaving a toxic relationship. Do reach out if you would like to discuss how I can support you on your journey of recovery, healing, and transformation.
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