top of page
  • Writer's pictureTonya

Cord Cutting Ritual After a Toxic Relationship - Is it Necessary?

Updated: 3 days ago

cord cutting ritual after a toxic relationship

Check out the full episode! Cord Cutting Ritual After a Toxic Relationship

Is a cord cutting ritual after a breakup necessary for you to heal and recover, especially if the relationship was toxic and emotionally destructive?

My answer would be an absolute YES! And here's why. After experiencing a toxic relationship of any kind whether you were dating a covert narcissist or some other toxic personality type you will most likely leave that relationship as the shadow of the woman you used to be. Dating a toxic intimate partner, such as a narcissist will energetically deplete you of the joy, happiness and love you once held for yourself and the life you once knew before deciding to date or marry this individual.

Emotional Vampirism is often experienced by targets of toxic, narcissistic relationships and what this means is that your toxic partner was or has been feeding off your energy slowly and methodically from day one. Emotional vampirism occurs during the trauma bonding process with your partner, if you're not familiar with what trauma bonding is all about I've written two lengthy articles (here and here) about it here on the blog and I've spoken about in a 2-part mini series in season one of the Loving Ahead podcast episodes 9 and 10.

Gaslighting is another manipulative tactic used by toxic intimate partners with the intention to constantly make you doubt yourself when ever you were in their presence. If someone is constantly invalidating your opinions, choices and decisions eventually you will begin to actually believe that you are perhaps crazy, delusional or paranoid, when in fact it's probably your toxic ex that is being the unreasonable one within the relationship. Lastly, and this is a classic tool from their arsenal of mind manipulation and that is they will often oscillate between love bombing you one day and then devaluing the next, this is also known as Intermittent Reinforcement which is utilized to keep you jumping through hoops and moving the invisible goal post whenever they feel you are slipping away from their toxic grip.

If you have experienced these toxic occurences within your relationship this is what is known as emotional abuse. I've also written an extensive article about emotional abuse, please do take a moment to read that article or you can go back and listen to season one, episode #3 Healing From Emotional Abuse. Please do check out the episode or article as it will give you a firmer understanding and also validate for you what you've experienced while dating or being married to a toxic, emotionally destructive intimate partner.

As you can see toxic relationships are extremely destructive to who you are as a divine feminine. You leave such relationships feeling disempowered, devalued, and yes a shadow of the woman you used to be; and in order for you to begin your healing and recovery journey after experiencing such as a tumultuous relationships you first must cut all energetic cords to your toxic ex and the residue of this toxic relationship.

cord cutting ritual after breakup

The Purpose of the Cord Cutting Ritual After a Toxic Relationship

A cord cutting ritual is effective because if done correctly it can energetically cleanse any lingering, toxic residue from your past relationship with your ex. Cord cutting can help to rebalance your energy and support you in reconnecting to your inner divine feminine. You are essentially cutting off energetic cords from the ongoing trauma bonding you endured while being in that relationship. An effective cord cutting ritual will cleanse your toxic ex's energy from your aura which allow you to feel more clear in your thoughts and liberated in your physical body.

My grandmother always used to tell me when I was younger to be careful who you decide to lay down with intimately because those sexual bonds or ties can be extremely toxic and destructive, and if you are not careful in discerning who you chose to share your physical body and energy with, you risk contaminating your own energy or aura with theirs, in this case your toxic ex, due to the energetic baggage they unknowingly brought into the relationship with you from previous toxic relationships.

Intimacy and Cord Cutting Rituals

Think about it, everytime you were intimate with your toxic ex you absorbed a little piece of them energetically, while also experiencing the cyclical trauma bonding process I spoke about earlier in this article. This is why conducting a sacred, cord cutting ritual after a toxic relationship is extremely important while you are healing and recovering after experiencing a devastating breakup or divorce.

A cord cutting ritual is a self-protective spiritual cleansing that can break the toxic bond and lingering residue of that relationship out of your life. However, you may need to repeat the cord cutting ritual more than once depending on the length of the relationship and how long the trauma bonding took place between you and your toxic ex.

cord cutting ritual

Different Types of Cord Cutting Rituals

Keep in mind that different cultures will also have different spiritual paths and because of this there is no one size fits all when performing a cord cutting ritual.You should find the one that best resonates with you and one that you feel comfortable performing on yourself as needed. When I discovered cord cutting as a ritual for severing lingering ties to my toxic ex I followed my intuition on what I felt I need to do for myself in order to move on with my life with a clean energetic slate.

However, my method or process for doing a cord cutting ritual may be completely different from someone else that identifies, for example, with an Indigenous spiritual path vs someone else who might identify with an African spiritual path the process of conducting a cord cutting ritual will be different in process, but the end goal is to sever ties from the toxicity of your past. Never do a cord cutting ritual if you are not in the right state of mind. It's always best to wait a few weeks or even a few months until you can emotionally regulate yourself and you are not coming from a place of anger, resentment or bitterness.

When I am working with my private 1:1 coaching clients I walk them through a beautiful and sacred cord cutting ritual that involves cleansing their body with natural herbs and oils, followed by a deep cleansing of their environment and once my client feels that they are prepared to complete the final step I guide them through the final process which is so liberating because you are taking back your power and finally standing in your own strength as a sacred divine feminine.

In part two of this article, I will share a simple yet effective cord cutting ritual you can perform on yourself before the new year of 2023 transitions in. A cord cutting ritual just before the new year transitions in is most powerful and long lasting because you are tapping into the energies of the old vs the new. A symbolic energetic transformation of releasing what was from the toxic relationship and embracing the new divine feminine you are becoming in the year of 2023.


I hope you enjoyed this week's article and have gained some valuable information to help you move forward with confidence! As a Breakup and Wellness Coach, my work in this world is dedicated to supporting and helping women such as yourself to HEAL, RECLAIM and TRANSFORM your life after leaving a toxic relationship. Do reach out if you would like to discuss how I can support you on your journey of recovery, healing, and transformation.


Have you joined the Loving Ahead newsletter? When you sign up, you'll receive Tonya's FREE Empower Your Emotions Workbook + access to her No Contact Masterclass!

cord cutting ritual

13 views0 comments
bottom of page