Previously recorded as Light Your Divine Path. How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship?
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Knowing how to move on from a toxic relationship with dignity is something I admittedly struggled with in the early days of my initial breakup from the covert narcissist I dated on and off for several years. In today’s article, I would like to share six practical tips with you and offer some genuine advice from my heart to yours—wisdom I wish someone, anyone in my life, would have stepped forward to offer me as I tumbled out of that tumultuous relationship.
Looking back on that destructive, toxic relationship, I had no clue how to handle the raw, out-of-control emotions and thoughts that were ruling my every action at the time. Take what you want from this article and leave the rest. If it resonates with you, great! I encourage you to implement and take bold, assertive action in moving forward on your journey of reclaiming, healing, and transforming your life after breaking up from an emotionally abusive relationship.
If you read my first article entitled "Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship: What You Need to Know," one of the main questions I posed to you is whether your current relationship is worth saving. I assume, since you are here reading this follow-up article, which focuses on recovering and healing from emotional abuse and toxic relationships, that you’ve finally made the decision to let go and move on. Alternatively, you might be seriously considering it, and I commend you on your courage and strength to acknowledge and expose the reality of your relationship for what it is – toxic.
6 Practical Tips: How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship
Firstly, Identify Your "WHY" for Leaving
Understanding the reasons behind your decision to leave a toxic relationship is crucial. Once you've identified your "why," commit to never forgetting it. Honoring your "why" and embracing the letting go process, with confidence, are essential steps before implementing the six tips discussed in this article. By doing so, you can navigate the process more smoothly.
1. Conduct a Final Honest Conversation
Whether in person, through a letter, or via email, have a truthful conversation with your soon-to-be ex-partner. Despite potential discomfort, express what needs to be shared. This isn't about confrontation or one-upmanship but about providing closure for yourself. Take control of how the breakup unfolds and how you experience it moving forward.
Too often, I hear women, including myself at the time, complain, 'He never gave me the closure I deserved or needed; he just moved on.' I totally get it, but it’s not up to that other person to give you the closure you want. This is your life, and it’s your decision to end the relationship. It's about you controlling (as much as possible) how this breakup will unfold for you, as well as how you intend to experience it moving forward once you've taken action to actually leave.
Note: If safety or comfort is an issue, consider writing a letter or email as an alternative communication method. The goal is self-closure, not confrontation.
Safety First: If the other person becomes aggressive or disrespectful, prioritize your safety. Avoid engaging in any communication and remove yourself from their presence.
Limit Communication: If tied by shared responsibilities (e.g., children, living arrangements, financial dependence), keep conversations brief and focused on essential information.
Caveat: No-Contact Rule
Implement a "no-contact" or limited "no-contact" rule, especially if dealing with an emotionally abusive person. This self-protective measure is crucial for initiating the healing process after leaving such a relationship.
Final Thoughts on the Last Conversation:
The purpose of the final conversation is to regain inner strength, assert yourself, and hold the other person accountable for their actions. Avoid getting drawn into a blame game; tactfully end the conversation if it turns unproductive. The goal is to prevent revisiting confusion and regret, fostering a healthier path forward.
Consider exploring my "No Contact, No Joke! 5-Part Audio Training Series" for additional insights.
2. No Contact After a Toxic Relationship is Important
Embrace Your Truth and Power
Navigating the 'no-contact' phase is about reclaiming control over your narrative. It's a crucial step towards personal empowerment and mental well-being. Deciding to sever ties serves as an act of self-affirmation, reinforcing your commitment to your own happiness. For an in depth discussion on why No Contact is absolutely not a joke, please check out Why the No Contact Rule is So Effective After a Toxic Breakup.
3. Detach and Cleanse: Practical Beginner Steps
To initiate the detoxing process, consider these practical steps:
Remove Triggers from Your Environment. Pack away items associated with your ex to symbolize detachment. Consider engaging in a symbolic ritual, like a burning ceremony, for closure.
Social Media Boundaries. Blocking your ex on social media serves as a psychological barrier, reducing the emotional impact of constant exposure. Evaluate shared friendships cautiously, avoiding potential negative influences.
Build a Supportive Circle. Surrounding yourself with trustworthy allies during the healing process is instrumental. Open up to loyal friends for emotional relief and establish a reliable support system.
4. Creating Sacred Space to Enhance Your Healing Journey
Rediscover Your Divine Feminine
Creating sacred space post-toxic relationship involves rediscovering the core of your identity. Solitude aids introspection, allowing you to reconnect with your innate qualities and rediscover the divine feminine energy within you.
Embrace Life Lessons
Reflecting on your journey is essential for personal growth. Mistakes and challenges become pivotal lessons, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself. Maintaining a personal healing journal supports introspection and self-awareness.
Inner Peace and Reconnection
Finding inner peace involves acceptance and mindfulness. Being at peace with decisions, silencing the ego, and allowing the mind to focus on the present are crucial. Sacred time with oneself fosters a reconnection with emotional and spiritual core.
5. Cleansing and Detoxifying Your Energy
Understanding Emotional Vampirism
The concept of emotional vampirism aligns with the psychological toll of energy-draining relationships. Prolonged exposure to toxic individuals leads to emotional exhaustion, highlighting the necessity of cleansing one's energy post-breakup.
For example, many women, and again, I am including myself here, complain about having little to no energy after exiting an emotionally abusive relationship. The reason for feeling as though your energies have been depleted is because they have been.
Emotional vampirism is the slow process of having one individual, in this case, your toxic ex, emotionally drain your energy source over a prolonged period through arguments, cheating, silent treatment and many other toxic tactics. Once you have been devalued and discarded by your ex (if it gets to that point), the person being drained—in this case, that would be you—feels as though they are a walking zombie.
Techniques for Energy Cleansing
Cleansing techniques serve as practical tools for emotional regulation. Meditation, creating a high-vibe space, and using crystals align with environmental psychology and symbolic healing, providing tangible focal points for emotional recovery. I can attest to the healing potential of alternative techniques, such as crystals and tarot cards—popular tools that individuals often incorporate into their practices for emotional well-being and spiritual exploration. These holistic tools serve as practical healing methods for emotional regulation, fostering a sense of balance and harmony. These methods align with principles from environmental psychology and symbolic healing, offering tangible focal points for emotional recovery.
6. Strategically Planning Your Comeback
Building a Comeback Plan
Planning a comeback is about shaping your narrative and setting goals. Positive psychology principles come into play, contributing to increased motivation and a sense of purpose. Focusing on personal and professional growth involves cognitive reframing, shifting from the past to future possibilities.
Redesigning Your Life
Redesigning oneself aligns with theories of personal development in psychology. The strategic planning process facilitates the integration of positive psychology principles, emphasizing strengths, resilience, and goal-oriented behaviors.
Private Coaching Support
Engaging in private coaching aligns with therapeutic support in psychology. Having a dedicated support system aids in navigating complex emotions. The Breakup to Level Up coaching program offers personalized assistance, applying psychological strategies for post-breakup life reclamation.
Embracing Patience and Kindness
Self-love is crucial for mental well-being. Research in positive psychology highlights the positive impact of self-compassion. Understanding that self-blame and guilt are counterproductive aligns with cognitive-behavioral principles and will help you immensely on your healing and recovery journey
FACT: The psychological impact of dwelling in self-pity is significant. Redirecting focus towards self-empowerment and growth aligns with principles of cognitive restructuring.
Support from Loving Ahead
Loving Ahead's support is grounded in trauma-informed positive psychological principles of community and healing. By providing a secure space for questions and encouragement, Loving Ahead aligns with trauma-informed positive psychology, creating a supportive community for women embarking healing journey.
I hope you enjoyed this week's article and have gained some valuable information to help you move forward with confidence! As a Breakup and Spiritual Wellness Coach my work in this world is dedicated to supporting and helping women such as yourself to HEAL, RECLAIM and TRANSFORM your life after leaving a toxic relationship. Do reach out if you would like to discuss how I can support you on your journey of recovery, healing, and transformation.