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  • Writer's pictureTonya

Navigating the Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Updated: 2 days ago

stages of healing after narcissistic abuse

Previously recorded as Light Your Divine Path. Check it out and leave us a comment

The stages of healing after narcissistic abuse are not an easy process to endure, especially when attempting to heal alone and without ongoing support. As you embark on the journey to emotionally detox from this relationship, it is crucial to exercise patience with yourself. Understand that you will need time to process what has happened and gain clarity on your next steps as you prepare to recover from this toxic relationship.

In addition to patience, consider seeking external support, whether from friends, family, or a mental health professional who is trauma informed. Having a reliable support system can significantly aid your healing process and provide a sense of understanding and empathy.

While navigating the stages of healing after narcissistic abuse, it's essential to cultivate inner discipline and determination; this is an area of my healing journey that I struggled with. It wasn't until I got serious about my healing journey, did I notice a significant change in my energy and perspective. This involves setting firm boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and recognizing the importance of your well-being. It may be beneficial to engage in activities that bring you joy and a sense of peace.

Remember that healing is a gradual process, and setbacks may occur. Be compassionate towards yourself during challenging moments, and celebrate small victories along the way. Journaling your thoughts and emotions can also be a helpful outlet for self-reflection and expression.

Ultimately, know that reclaiming your life after covert narcissistic abuse is achievable with commitment and the right support. You have the strength to overcome this challenging experience and emerge stronger and more resilient. Below I've highlighted the stages of healing after narcissistic abuse. These are the very same stages I experienced on my healing and recovery journey post breakup after experiencing a covert narcissistic relationship

stages of healing after narcissistic abuse

Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: My Story

When I eventually left the 7-year on-and-off, crazy-making, emotional roller-coaster of dating a covert narcissist, I was a shadow of the woman I used to be. I couldn’t make sense of what had just happened to me. I struggled with attempting to move forward with my life and eventually experienced what is known as the dark night of the soul. All I knew is that I wanted my life back, and I also wanted the pain in my heart to stop. But how? This was the frustrating question I kept looping back around to over and over and over in my mind.

Admittedly, it took me a few years after leaving that emotionally abusive relationship to finally give up my bitter pursuit of seeking revenge against my toxic ex and humble myself to the reality of what had happened to me; I was the victim of emotional, narcissistic abuse. As a result of facing my truth, the Universe and my inner Divine Feminine were able to step in and give me the clarity, support, and guidance I desperately desired to have but, at the time, was unable to see beyond my anger, hurt, shame, and guilt. It wasn’t until I surrendered to the healing journey I believe I was being guided to embark upon that I finally experienced the true meaning of finding inner peace after dating a covert narcissist. I was beginning to see the light in the midst of the darkness that I was enveloped within. But, it didn't happen overnight. The stages of healing after narcissistic abuse are not linear and can be a time of much uncertainty.

In the podcast episode I delve deep into the 6-stages of grieving and eventual acceptence:

1. Shock and Embarrassment

2. Denial and Resistance

3. Bargaining and Compromising Your Values

4. Loneliness and Isolation

5. Eventual Acceptance

6. Healing and Transformation (obviously my favorite part of the process)

The Major Lesson After Narcissistic Abuse

A major lesson I learned, and there were many, is that you can’t fool, trick, or manipulate the Universe into exacting revenge on your behalf to correct the wrongs that you, unfortunately, experienced while dating your toxic ex. Hear me when I say this – experiencing narcissistic abuse was just the Universe's bold and aggressive way of awakening you to the BS your life has mutated into over the years since dating this toxic, emotionally abusive individual. Sometimes, the only way for you to get back on track and reconnect to your divine purpose is to experience a soul-awakening life lesson, such as that of dating a covert narcissist.

The Reality of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

I completely understand that my above statement can be an extremely difficult pill to swallow; it took me years to accept the reality of what has happened to me while also attempting to process and understand why I had to endure the horrific, soul-crushing experience of dating a covert narcissist. But as the Dalai Lama profoundly states, “one’s enemy is the best teacher.” This is not to shift blame or excuse the trauma, betrayal, and hurt you have no doubt experienced while dating the covert narcissist, but hopefully, it will give you some perspective as to the life lesson that can be utilized from this situation to propel you into an empowered, transformed version of the woman you used to be. As I embarked on my recovery and healing journey post-narcissistic abuse, I made all sorts of cringe-worthy mistakes and decisions I wish I could return to and fix, but it’s all a part of the process of detoxing not only from that specific, toxic relationship but a complete and thorough detox of my life as I knew it.


I hope you enjoyed this week's article and have gained some valuable information to help you move forward with confidence! As a Breakup and Wellness Coach my work in this world is dedicated to supporting and helping women such as yourself to HEAL, RECLAIM and TRANSFORM your life after leaving a toxic relationship. Do reach out if you would like to discuss how I can support you on your journey of recovery, healing, and transformation.


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stages of healing after narcissistic abuse

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